What Have I Been Doing?

I've been rather quiet these last few weeks. There are several reasons for that, but the most interesting one has to do with a great big package I received in the mail. You can blame my absence on the generosity of Babeland!

Babeland is celebrating 15 years in the business of pleasure. My very first vibrator was a sexy little purple thing from Babeland. I wore it out within a year, but I loved it so much I had to buy another. Then another. Then something else.

Then I got my lover into the game, and from that point on, it was sex toy heaven.

I love Babeland toys for soooo many reasons. They are always reliable -- I haven't had a single one of them break down, and trust me, I've tried my best to wear them out! They offer some of the coolest and most unique toys. Most of all, the variety means I always have something new to look forward to -- whether it's the tried-and-true Rabbit, the Cadillac of Vibrators, or the cuteness of a Rubber Duckie. (Yes, a Duckie, I kid you not!)

I've done quite a few Babeland reviews for Clean Sheets in the past few years. You can find those here:

Getting Off Quick with Babeland

Getting Wet and Wicked with Babeland

Becoming an Expert with Babeland

Look, Honey -- No Hands! A Review of the We Vibrator

And you can bet I'm going to be doing more.

Happy Anniversary, Babeland! Here's to another fifteen years of orgasmic joy.

I'm Back!

I've been out of commission for a while, but I'm back...and with lots of new news to share!

My latest review at Clean Sheets is now live. I enjoyed Hard Hats, a collection of lots of sexy men getting hot and sweaty on construction sites...and I wrote all about it. Check out the review here.

My latest story is up on The Erotic Woman. "Better Than Brazil" is the tale of two people who grow closer and closer...and then they meet. Check it out by clicking here.

My latest column is up at For the Girls. This time I talk about dealing with that delicate balance of old friends and a new relationship:

I had ignored the sly digs she made when she thought I wasn’t listening. I had taken the high road and let slide the snide little comments she sometimes made about Mr. Right’s “ball and chain.” I had even defended her once or twice, when it seemed she was too catty for her own good, and chalked it up to the changes that happen when relationships grow.

But when she assumed how I felt, and immediately blamed me without a second thought, I had had enough.

When the claws come out, honey, I’m one little pussy who hisses right back.

Meow! Click here to visit For the Girls and read about the drama!

More coming soon...

My, My...How Things Change!

Today, the nominations for the 41st Annual CMA Awards were announced.

In years past, this was a true event for me. It was something I anticipated for weeks. Some years, I held CMA Nominations parties. There were a few years when I was there in the studio, hearing the nominations live. There was one year when I sat at home, on the edge of my seat, unable to go because I was pregnant with my daughter and on bedrest. (That didn't stop me from jumping up and down with excitement, mind you.)

This year? I probably won't even vote.

I'm not sure my husband voted. We talked about it briefly, but to be honest, I don't think he sent in an initial ballot. I do know that I hadn't given the CMA Awards much thought until he reminded me of the fact that they were happening. He told me on Monday morning. Today, I almost forgot, and tuned in just as the nominations were starting in New York.

As I watched, I thought back to how much it used to mean, and how much things had changed. It's not that I don't care -- I certainly do! -- and it's not that the country music industry is any less important to me now. In fact, we are both probably more entrenched in the industry than we have ever been.

So what's my problem?

My priorities have changed. My focus has shifted. As I watched the nominations this year from my quiet office with piles of work awaiting my attention, I remembered the Priority Questions.

Have you ever noticed that once you do something over and over and over, it becomes part of your routine, an automatic thing in your day-to-day life? You start to live by it and then you forget you are doing it. It becomes natural as breathing.

The Priority Questions were shared with me many years ago. They were so simple, and worked so well, that I began to apply them to everything. As I did, my life began to change. I got a handle on situations I thought were out of control. My life slowed down, became easier, less stressful. It wasn't that my life had changed -- the way I handled my life was what had changed.

The Priority Questions:

Will this matter...
In a day?
In a week?
In a month?
In a year?
In five years?

I took any situation that was causing me stress -- everything from paying the mortgage to dealing with discipline for my kids to handling the nosy and annoying teller at the bank. I took a deep breath and asked myself those questions, in the order listed.

The teller at the bank pisses me off? Really? Fine. Will it matter in a day? No?

Just like that, I let it go. I smiled and put up with her bullshit, knowing that when I turned around and walked out, it wouldn't be a problem. I could seethe about it and whine and bitch and yell filthy names at her in the car on my way home, showing my passive-agressiveness to great advantage in my rearview mirror, but it wouldn't make one bit of difference. And it didn't matter anyway.

Bingo -- she was no longer a problem. I was happier and could spend my energy on things that did matter.

Seems simple? It is. That's the point. You have no idea how much energy you throw away on things that don't matter until you actually call yourself on it. Thus, the priority questions. They put into perspective what you never really think about.

Apply it to anything. Those vicious rumors your friend oh-so-casually mentioned she heard at lunch the other day. The fact that your car is on the fritz. The chronic lateness of your business associate for your lunch dates.

Will it matter in a day? Maybe. Will it matter in a week? Probably not.

Once you have a firm handle on how much it really matters, then you can live your life appropriately. For me it was always my children who came at the top of the list...of course. Will meeting that dealine matter in five years? It just might. Will taking ten minutes out of my rush to that deadline to color a page in a book with my son make a difference in five years? Oh, yes. Definitely.

The editor won't remember that I stayed up all night to finish the deadline. In fact, she might never know. But will my son remember the moment I walked away from the computer, focused on him, and colored that picture of Bugs Bunny? He might, and he might not -- but what if he does? Which matters more?

Today I watched the CMA nominations on television. I watched while writing this blog, in fact. There were moments when I was thrilled by hearing certain names. There was a point where I picked up the phone and called a friend to say congratulations.

Then the nominations were over, and I turned back to finish this blog. Soon I'm going to get back to work, juggling finishing a manuscript, a short story and a column between doing dishes, finishing that load of laundry, and making lunch in time for my husband to have something hot to eat when he walks in the door.

It's not that those nominations don't matter anymore. It's just that they fall in a different place in my life now. My priorities have shifted.

Apply the Priority Questions to your own life. Write down the situations and rank them on paper if you have to, so you can see what is going on in your head. Do it over and over, it becomes like clockwork, and you'll be a much happier person. Trust me.

Now that I'm done being philosophical, I have to go. I have to finish writing this story about a woman who chains a man to a wall, pulls out a riding crop and gives him what he doesn't even know he really wants.

-wicked grin-

It's been a while...

It has definitely been a while since I posted to this blog. But I have an excuse: A new book!

I've been writing hot and heavy these last several weeks. As any writer will tell you, sometimes the stories take months to come into their own, and sometimes they just slip into this world like a baby taking its first breath and it is full-steam-ahead from there.

This one is a runaway train. It started with a bang, picked up some momentum, hit a bump or two, then smoothed out down a long, sloping hill. It's still gathering speed. I'm sure I will have time to sleep when it is done, but right now I'm just along for the ride!

I did take a day off from writing last week and spent all of it on the back of a four-wheeler, wandering through the woods, getting sunburned and loving every minute of it. That has become my favorite way to unwind, and I hope to do it a lot more often this summer.

The tornadoes that ripped through Tennessee managed to miss my house, but there are more coming tonight, so we get another spin in Mother Nature's Roulette. I love everything about storms -- the electricity in the air, the thrill of the wind picking up, the distant lightning coming closer and closer, the thunder that rattles the windows. Then comes the rain. There are few things more decadent than walking outside into my backyard in the middle of the night and greeting the deluge. I love the feeling of wet grass between my toes and water falling from every corner of the heavens to drench me from head to toe. It's sensual as hell and makes me feel like a part of nature itself.

It's funny that we've had so much rain here in Tennessee this week, and this is also the same week my new story is up on Clean Sheets. "In the Rain" is the title -- how appropriate! I hope you enjoy it. Click here to read it.

The story was inspired by Jackson Browne's "Sky Blue and Black". I love that song because the imagery is so sharp. I can taste the shore, hear the tires in the rain, feel the uncertainty and the longing. I prefer songs that really mean something, songs that make me think. When I was in high school and college, I listened to Don McLean's "The Day the Music Died" until I knew every last nuance. I loved it because it was a mystery that had something to say. Those are the best of the best songs, I think.

In addition to listening to music all the time, I'm reading quite a bit lately. I've picked up Three the Hard Way, edited by Susie Bright. William Harrison has a story in this volume. His words always draw me in. I'm also reading Battle Cry of Freedom: The Civil War Era, Toni Morrison's Song of Solomon, and various newsletters and trade magazines that have been piling up in that basket underneath the endtable.

Thunder is rumbling again, so I think I will curl up with one of those books on the front porch and watch the storms roll in.